Should I?

So I'm reluctant to do this blog, this early. I don't even know how pregnant I am. I found out 19 days ago, on the day before Thanksgiving, Nov 26. A doctor's appointment on Monday, Dec 1 followed by a blood test to confirm the pregnancy made us believe it a little bit more. This Wednesday, I get an ultrasound to find out how far along I am. Why you ask? Its been a bumpy road.

Pigpen and I decided to try and start a family earlier this year. I went off my birth control in March and we started a few months after that. Ideally, we would have been able to get pregnant relatively quickly so we could have a baby during the business' offseason (Jan, Feb, March). Of course, no matter how much planning you do, etc, life never quite works that way. We did manage to get pregnant in June (a positive test on June 23 and 26) but on June 28, I started bleeding. It wasn't as devistating as I thought to miscarry--I knew how common it was and we had only known for a few days so we didn't really believe it yet anyway. Unfortunately, we had told our parents so we had to update them. They have been very supportive throughtout everything.

The next few months were really frustrating--my period was so irregular that we had no idea what do to. I was missing periods left and right but wasn't getting any positive pregnancy tests and was annoyed to have to keep buying them. It was very frustrating and although Pigpen was able to not get worked up about it, I didn't fare as well. This last time, I was quite late--my last period started Oct 1 right before I went to Distinctly Bronze, but I had two negative tests in early Nov--one around the 3rd and one about 10-12 days later. I took the last test on Nov 26 just for fun since the last time I had called the doctor frustrated about my period, or lack thereof, they told me to not have sex for 2 weeks, take a test and then call them if it was negative and they would give me something to induce my period. But this test was different and it was suddenly VERY positive. Not a faint line, but a really dark line. I didn't believe it, and I don't think Pigpen did either. I still have the test sitting on the bathroom counter. :)

The first appointment was just a check-in one. I met with a nurse who gave me lots of information about how the future appointments will work, what I can and can't eat and what medicines are good and bad. She checked my urine and took all my vitals so there would be a baseline. She gave me a book that Miss Shirley had already let me borrow but I was happy to get my own copy. (Now I have 2 books that are all mine on pregnancy!) The nurse told me, after I mentioned the two negative tests in early November that we probably couldn't rely on the Oct 1 date for calculating the due date, like they usually do. I should have been about 7-8 weeks along when I went to the doctor but I was probably more like 4 weeks since she believes I ovulated late. She told me to wait at least 2 weeks and then to go in for an ultrasound where they could measure things to get a due date. It looks like the weather is going to be rainy on Wednesday so Pigpen can come with me! The latest appointment I could get was 2:45pm over in Centreville so we're both looking forward to that.

Its been terribly difficult not to tell people but I'm reluctant to if I really am only about 6-7 weeks along. We plan on telling the parents at Christmas since we'll have a picture from the ultrasound (at least I think we will).

I feel like crap. I was doing great until about a week ago. My boobs were hurting but I didn't have many other symptoms which is why I was glad that the blood test confirmed the home pregnancy test since I wasn't believing it. I even mentioned to Miss Shirley that I wished I was a bit more nauseous so I could actually believe this was happening! On Tues or Wed, Dec 9 or 10, things started to go downhill. I became VERY nauseous and actually threw up Friday and Saturday mornings. I felt somewhat better after that but not completely. I bought "hint of salt" saltines to try and limit the amount of sodium in my diet but they are horrible and I decided to just buy the regular ones. The past two days have been a little better--the more distracted I am (like being around other people, out of the house, etc), the less I think about my tummy. I feel like I'm eating constantly. Yesterday it was a small bowl of cereal for breakfast with Pigpen, a pineapple cup mid morning, nacho dip and chips around 10:30am, ring noodle soup at 1:30-2pm and then pizza at Miss Shirley's while babysitting at 7pm. I was SO hungry when the pizza came that I ate too fast. I think I only had 2 pieces plus a little crust but I didn't feel well the rest of the night. Not nauseous but overly full. I really need to be better about eating slower and not quite as much in one sitting. I should be spreading my meals out.

So this blog is because I wanted to have a record of everything before this adventure starts. I'm still nervous about everything since it is early--I'm prepared to see bleeding anytime I use the bathroom but am always relieved when I don't. It may not become real until I actually start showing, in many many months. I hope I'm not jinxing it by writing this...